Did you guess Tara was a lesbian?

[Nighthawk]

Did you suspect Tara was a lesbian early on? I kind of knew very soon after her character showed up. My friend thought Tara wasn't a lesbian but she did think Tara was a demon.

What about you?

[doppelgänger]

All I got to say is "Duuuh"

It was so obvious she was hot on Willow from the very first time she saw her.

[VisionGuy]

I knew Tara was a lesbian as soon as she first appeared on the show. I knew she liked Willow but I never would have guessed Willow would form a realationship with her. I like their ship now though, it is my third favorite.

[Nighthawk]

Third to which others?

[master kenobi]

well yeah deffinatly chemasrty with willow and tara straight away :D
well her family had to deal with her being a witch but i wounder if they knew she was gay lol :) ( note her family are evil) tara rules :D

[Cordelia Chase*]

Obvious!!!

For one I have the "eye" I can mostly likey tell if someone is gay.

But she was all over Willow!

When Hush came and they held hands to use their powers I was like...."Yes"

It's about time someone turned gay on Buffy besides Larry!

[master kenobi]

lol :D well i am so how can you tell if some ones gay, give me a hand here lol :)

[eponinethen]

I agree that it was very obvious, the Tara/Willow thing. Although I knew Tara was a lesbian even before I started watching, it was sort of the reason I started watching ;)

Other than that, just gotta add, I have the worst gaydar ever..

[master kenobi]

harder with girls.... girls re friendy lol :) reson i wathced it too lol.....mummmmm willow and tara :)

[eponinethen]

I know, lol. Girls can act the same way if they want to be friend or more, difficult to know :(

[Willowfan4life]

it was really easy to tell that willow/tara was going to happen the second they held hands in "hush" u could totally tell they had chemistry. and then later in "hush" when willow is saying that she isn't special. tara says no u are come on u had to know plus "awww"

[Edmund Blackadder]

I didnt know about the Lesbian relationship before hand but the instant i saw Hush i could see what was going to happen.

I loved Oz, but there was instant Chemistry between Amber and Alyson allowing the characters to seem so natural...i instantly fell in love with Tara.

Without steroetyping though, i wasnt shocked because alot of my Lesbian Friends are practicing Wicca and funnily enough Buffy fans, so when Tara came on the screen, it felt natural also.

[*AlysonHannigan*]

Sorta yes and no. Like at the beginning, I didn't know what to think, but when they got together, there wasn't a surprise in my mind at all. It was a little obvious, and it wasn't. Hard to explain.

[Witchy Willow]

Yup, defintely did guess. That look in her eye, you could so tell she loved Willow. lol Well, maybe love isn't the right word, but y'know. Then, when they did the spell, holding hands, the way they looked at each other. Pretty obvious something was gonna happen between them.

[*AlysonHannigan*]

You could really tell they got turned on by each other when they telekinetically moved the soda thing or whatever against the door. But, normally, I couldn't myself really tell too much.

[master kenobi]

well thats not the only spell they have together where they looked turned on :) lol there love very powerfull :D

[BillieHunter]

Yea i suspected it. But like soem peopel said...with girls it can be hard to tell. Some may just act the way she did when they want to be friends with someone. I know some girls who seem overly friendly liek that and are so completely straight. So you can't really stereotype those kinda people. But yea I though Tara might be.

[master kenobi]

the one give away was definaly the look after they moved the thing... in hush....definatly.... powerfull concetion....

[Araminta Tyler]

Hmmm...well I could tell that Tara was interested in Willow because she was the only other one taking magic as seriously as her, but when they had their first proper conversation, you could tell there was something else...not just because Tara was so shy around her, but when she said 'No, you are', in answer to Willow's brush off about her powers...there was something deep about the way she said it. *sigh*

[master kenobi]

indeedy its the "NO,YOU ARE" the way tara says it .....and willows smile afterwards..... :) bless them :D

[SlayerShel]

I kind of picked up on the vibe pretty quick, probably by Hush.

[Mango]

Yeah, you could tell what was going to happen between them. You could see the chemistry. I love the Willow and Tara relationship. It was written so well too. :)

[MentPatient]

I didn't see it at first, but I started to when she and Willow got together for spells a lot.

[Lyri]

i got it from the hand holding to move the...whatever it was in Hush. it's just the way Tara's makes that connection, how slowly she moves her hand to take Willow's, like it means more to her than just a spell.

[doppelgänger]

Did anyone say spells? I thought that was just another word for gay dirtyness.

[eponinethen]

Did anyone say spells? I thought that was just another word for gay dirtyness.
"Sometimes I think about two girls doing a spell... and the I..." uhrm yeah :D

[TabulaRasa]

The minute that Tara looked at Willow in the Wicca group, I knew. And I was all awwwwwwwww. Gosh I love those two together. :( I miss Tara

[sizzle-sozzle]

i kind of guessed that Tara was gay in the episode 'Hush' well i knew that she liked Willow,but i didnt realise how far their relationship would take them.i worked it out when Willow was trying to move the vending machine and then Tara slowly moved her hand closer to Willow's.You could see that Tara was nervous and it meant more to her than just moving a vending machine.

[master kenobi]

awwww :) willow and tara soo miss them, and yeah i agree with sizzle, from hush you could tell straight away or gay away lol, bodum boo chh... soz lol.
deffo could tell the chemestry between them :)

[Lyri]

i just rewatched Hush last night, and, remembering this thread, i watched that scene with the vending machine (thanks Al) very carefully...and did anyone else notice the look on Willow's face? the sort 'gosh, this doesn't feel too bad' look. maybe she liked Tara from that moment. i always thought it was a gradual process from spending so much time with Tara.

[Edmund Blackadder]

i just rewatched Hush last night, and, remembering this thread, i watched that scene with the vending machine (thanks Al) very carefully...and did anyone else notice the look on Willow's face? the sort 'gosh, this doesn't feel too bad' look. maybe she liked Tara from that moment. i always thought it was a gradual process from spending so much time with Tara.

I always believed that the Magic connected them, it was an instant recognition from the moment they were 'joined' by this force.
That is why these two are special, powerful its because they just know that thye are 'Soul Mates'. The rest of that season isn't about them realizing it, its about them exploring it.
Thats why i believe Willow was able to choose Tara over Oz, because everything she needed to know was in that moment that connection.

[1-800-Willow-Rosenberg]

aww those two together that's the reason i started watching buffy aww i miss them. how could u not guess tara was gay and they would end up together plus who can blame tara for liking willow ;)

[master kenobi]

..... pointless..... hummm....

well i love this thread :) as do i love willow and tara there so sweet together :) and ..... willow... ;) indeedy

feel like watchin season 4 :) i miss them :)

[doppelgänger]

Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!! This thread sucks AND is almost completely pointless.

For once... Hear Hear!

[sizzle-sozzle]

Yea you could tell that it kind of felt right to Willow,but it took time for her to realise her feelings and work out what it meant.It's a proccess that she had to go through and she was only just starting to get over Oz,so i'm guessing she didn't fully realise her true feelings and understand them.

[Randy Giles]

I never really paid attention. I never liked Tara though.

[Your Creamy Coolness]

I had heard about Tara and Willow. Didn't know who Willow's G friend was, just heard about Willow coming out. I wasn't suprised. But I love them and I don't think this thread is pointless!

[nerd4hire]

What ?? Tara was a Lesbian ??

:) ;)

[Canon]

Well I already knew that Tara was a lesbian before I started watching Buffy, so I guess I'll never know whether I would have figured out Tara was gay or not, but I'm guessing I would have cause there was just something between Tara and Willow from the very first time they saw each other.

[The Chosen]

Well you could definately see what was going on there. Tara's first smile towards Willow was a key factor. They were the best couple on the show, IMHO.

[maelstrom209]

Meeting Tara for the first time, I didn't know about her sexuality. It was the subsequent interactions she had with Willow that I realized there was more going on between them.

[white avenger]

I've never seen the Willow/Tara relationship as a lesbian thing as much as two people who have a great deal in common loving each other. When Kennedy asked Willow when she had discovered that she preferred women, Willow's answer was something like, "Not women, but one woman...Tara."

As for the Willow/Kennedy thing, Kennedy initiated almost all of it, and Willow was still in a state of confusion and grief over the loss of Tara. Kennedy took advantage of the situation ("You might have noticed that I'm something of a brat. I've always gotten what I want..."). I think Willow, if she had thought of the situation unemotionaly, would have said something like, "She's just a kid, but, what the hell. We'll probably all wind up dead anyway.")

Willow loved Tara. Tara loved Willow. Period. I seriously doubt if gender would have mattered one way or the other.

[maelstrom209]

Wow, that's really deep. I didn't think of it that way but you are right. The relationship that Willow and Tara had was really beyond being lesbian. They're soulmates so they would love each other regardless of gender.

[Edmund Blackadder]

I've never seen the Willow/Tara relationship as a lesbian thing as much as two people who have a great deal in common loving each other. When Kennedy asked Willow when she had discovered that she preferred women, Willow's answer was something like, "Not women, but one woman...Tara."

As for the Willow/Kennedy thing, Kennedy initiated almost all of it, and Willow was still in a state of confusion and grief over the loss of Tara. Kennedy took advantage of the situation ("You might have noticed that I'm something of a brat. I've always gotten what I want..."). I think Willow, if she had thought of the situation unemotionaly, would have said something like, "She's just a kid, but, what the hell. We'll probably all wind up dead anyway.")

Willow loved Tara. Tara loved Willow. Period. I seriously doubt if gender would have mattered one way or the other.


Any true loving relationship should transcend the gender of the people, however that does not change the sexuality of the people within the relationship.

Willow was/is a Lesbian.
It takes nothing from the relationship to admit that.
There was a connection between these two that was evident to the outsider(us) from the moment they shared time together and it was also evident to them.

I do find that suggesting Kennedy was a simple 'lay' in season 7 because Willow thought they were all doomed DOES actually detract from the Tara and Willow relationship.

Tara gave Willow the strength and confidence to realize who she was and who she wanted to be and in that comes the term 'lesbian'. By suggesting Willow gave into bratty, manipulative Kenny, suggests Willow wasn't strong and that is absolutely absurd. She was/is strong, like an Amazon.

No, I find it a slight at the power of Tara and Willows relationship to suggest such a thing as Willow being taken advantage of in this regard. I'm pretty sure you won't change your mind on this one, so we will have to agree to disagree, but for those who haven't made up your mind, watch the entire Willow storyline, from Season 1 to 7, and make your own mind up. Season 1 - 3 Willow may have fallen for the Manipulative Kenny, but because of Tara and her love, there is no way Willow could in season 7.

[nerd4hire]

I also think that's one of those "matter of opinion" things.

To me one of Willow's main character flaws is she's always looking for the quick fix. Also she has kind of an addictive personality. For example if we say Willow is at core a lesbian, we have to ask what's with these early attractions to Xander and Oz. One can explain that away by postulating the whole social acceptablility, and the problem with coming out issue. Quick fix. Find a guy. Once she's there her addictive personality takes over.

Same thing with post-Tara. Lots of pain there. She wants a way out. Quick fix - Kennedy.

[eponinethen]

Or you can believe that sexual "orientation" is a construction (as well as gender) and that Willow's sexual/romantic preferences changed as so many other things about her personality did.
(I tend to say that I am gay. But that's just to make things easier. I don't believe that anyone is this or that. I like to think of as "I identify as a gay woman".. or straight.. or whatever. What you identify as can change. Simple as that. To me.)

Doesn't mean the quick fix thing isn't true though.

[nerd4hire]

True, even if you want to go nurture over nature I can make the "quick fix" theory work, by saying Tara becomes a quick fix reaction to Willow's previous man problems. Wouldn't that be even more repellent to the lesbian view though? Also if that's the way it goes, then why not another man for Willow in the future? If the environment is what turned Willow gay (if sexual orientation is just a social construct), then why couldn't a different environment make her hetero?

[eponinethen]

Again, I don't think anyone can be gay or straight. But depending on different things – such as society and previous experiences but also choice and coincidence – we identify as one thing or another (although some people of course decide not to identify/label themselves). It could also mean that you fall for certain qualities, and that those qualities are (in our society) to 95% found among one of the sexes – which makes you fall for basically only men or women, which makes you believe you are completely gay/straight. (Which I think could be pretty accurate in Willow's case.)

So imo yes of course Willow might choose to be with a man some time in the future, it isn't completely unlikely – especially since she has obviously been with men and loved men before. Although, to me it seems that Willow is all about the ladies for now, and she doesn't really seem interested in changing her sexual preferences. But again, imo it could definitely happen.

(Wow it's hard to talk about these things in English :D )

[nerd4hire]

Well, I understand what you're saying, and that's a claim I can't always make with English people, so you must be doing a pretty good job. :)

You and me had a similar debate once before, didn't we? Do you remember? It concerned whether or not a case could be made for men and women writing differently. Basically, it's the same issue. Nature (key portions of a person's psyche are determined by their genetic make-up), versus Nurture (how people behave is determined by their interactions with their social and physical environments).

There are people who would tell us something like homosexuality is predetermined biologically. They would tell us this is a scientifically proven fact. As I recall, your argument to that goes - Science is a lot of hooey.

My personal opinion is there's a little bit of nature, and a little bit of nurture. Some science probably is a lot of hooey. When people tell me something is scientifically proven, and they start talking computer models, or using the generic term of "studies", I kind of roll my eyes, and go "yeah, right", even though that stuff has to be considered. On the other hand a lot of what they call science is pretty hard to deny.

[RockManic]

I've definitely had this conversation here before (with Epo and BotD I believe) and I still stand by my opinion that Willow is and always was bisexual. The fact that she was shown to have very intimate feelings for both Oz and Tara was proof enough of that for me.

This isn't directed at anyone in this thread (or here at BB in general) as I've not seen the opinion I'm about to discuss here as such but I actually find it a great shame that people think suggesting Willow might be bisexual is somehow offensive or take something from her relationship with Tara. It's as if they assume that just because Willow still might potentially fall for a guy in the future then that means that her feeling for Tara were not as real. To me that is ridiculous.

As a straight guy in a current relationship I can honestly say that my feelings for my current girlfriend in no way take anything away from what I felt for any of the girls I was with in the past. I've had quite a few relationships over the years, some stronger than others, but none of them have ever made me stop and think "I love her now so maybe I didn't really love my last girlfriend as much". Of course I did, but feelings change as life changes.

In the case of Willow she has shown that she is capable of having intense feelings of love and lust for members of both genders. No matter who she ends up with in the future, whether it be a guy or a girl, will not have any effect on how much she loved Tara or how real that relationship was, just as her relationship with Tara could never destroy the reality of how she felt about Oz when they were together.

Quite simply, Willow is a bisexual girl currently choosing to live a homosexual lifestyle. Admitting her attraction for the male side of society doesn't change the fact she currently prefers girls but the fact is that she likes both sides of the gender coin.

[Edmund Blackadder]

Sorry if my comment seemed to suggest Willow was a Lesbian and its not right for her to be straight/bisexual.
I'm still of the belief she is gay, however the comment I posted(while under some influence) was more at the suggestion that post Tara, Willow was manipulated by Kennedy.

I have had the Willow Gay-Straight-Bisexual conversation far too many times to really want to go into it again, so 'rock on' if you like, but i'ma sit it out.
I just feel that the suggestion Willow could give in easily to a bratty kid because she was in a place to be takes away the strength Tara ultimately gave her, is all.

Willow wants to ride the 'cock-monster' again, fair play.
I know I would LOVE her to end up with Oz now that Tara is no more, but thats something for my mind.

[RockManic]

Just so you know, BotD, my last post was in no way a direct response to yours. Your previous comment actually was what got me thinking about other opinions I have read in various other places but it wasn't what you posted that I was talking about.

And I'd like to see Willow and Oz get back together too, but only if the "Tara back from the dead" storyline never happens. ;)

[nerd4hire]

What if Willow hooked up with the Immortal? Wouldn't that be a twist? :)

I'd almost like to see something like that, just for the fan reaction.

[RockManic]

Especially if my theory about the Immortal looking exactly like Joss happens to be true.

Now that would be a headtrip! :D

[Edmund Blackadder]

What do we feel of a 'Wiles' relationship?
Agewise, hugely different, but its a meeting of minds.

I'd kinda be happy for Giles to get some for a change, and you couldn't fault him going for a bit of the Willow!!!

[RockManic]

I've said before around here, age difference in a relationship means nothing to me as long as both parties are willing, happy and legal. I've seen as many successful "age-gap" relationships work as I have seen relationships where the two people are the same age totally fall apart. The age thing is meaningless if your ideal partner happens to have been born a decade (or more) before or after you were. Be with whoever makes you happy, no matter what.

[Edmund Blackadder]

So that a yay or nay for Giles getting some hot red head loving?

[eponinethen]

You and me had a similar debate once before, didn't we? Do you remember?
Right, Shakespeare eh? :P

My personal opinion is there's a little bit of nature, and a little bit of nurture. Some science probably is a lot of hooey. When people tell me something is scientifically proven, and they start talking computer models, or using the generic term of "studies", I kind of roll my eyes, and go "yeah, right", even though that stuff has to be considered. On the other hand a lot of what they call science is pretty hard to deny.
Well I am all for science, I just think they're sometimes making things a bit to hard on themselves, and sometimes a bit too simple. I don't think it's about determining if "you are born homosexual". I think that gender is a construction. That doesn't mean that I as a [constructed but still] woman, can prefer to only be with [biologically or not] men, my entire life. And sure most do, and that's not weird at all! I am not arguing that everyone is bisexual, I am arguing that gender is constructed and that the whole theory of "homosexual-bisexual-heterosexual" if slightly off and doesn't make sense.
Therefor, discussing whether you're born gay or not, isn't really the interesting part ;)

(EDIT: Why do I always have to get into these things? Why can't I just stay out of it? Sometimes I get sick of myself, lol..)

[Black Eye Guy]

What about that time that Willow kinda confirmed to Tara that she was a lesbian, and wasn't gonna head back to buy town in The Body?

I could see Willow haveing a boyfriend again, it wouldn't be that supriseing, I think it would be an intresting storyline, to see Willow cope with haveing feelings for a boy, and what that means for her.

[Wiccaness]

i dont think i thought she was a lesbian, i thought she could be maybe a good demo during Family but not a lesbian, mostly cause i couldnt tell and was like 11 0r 12

[Panda]

it was pretty obvious she was giving willow that (very shy) hey how you doin look. but yeah i started watching already knowing she was gay.

[codyw1]

Yeah, cause Dreamwatch magazine spoilered it months before the season even started in australia!

Damn spoilers! lol

[MLLamble]

I knew she was a lesbian when I first saw her in Hush... I also knew that Willow was a lesbian (or bisexual..?) From the start of season 2. Of course, I read the entire bio of Willow's character on Wikipedia after I saw the first season, so maybe I don't count.
I think that it was made sort of clear that Tara and Willow were going to have a relationship after the whole soda machine thing. Also, there was the whole "I'm nothing special." "No, you are." exchange, the sweet smiles. They were cute together from moment 1.