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Majin Gojira
02-08-2002, 06:05 PM
I do not own Buffy The Vampire Slayer.


(Spike, is making his way up some stairs with a book. Buffy stops him at the top of the stairs)

Buffy: That was a sweet thing to do Spike.

Spike: No problem. This was the least I could do after that guy let us stay her at this hotel for free.

Buffy: (Giving Spike a peck on the cheek and whispering in his ear) . Sweet nonetheless. After you're done reading to the twins, come to bed and I'll let you play with the other twins. (Gives Spike a knowing wink and walks off. Spike looks after her, then walks on and knocks on a door)

Willow: Just a second! (There are some thumps and an "Ow" and then Willow emerges) Hi Spike, what can I do for you?

Spike: You know that illusion magic you've been working on? I have something it could be used for. I'm going to read Rumplestiltskin to the sons of the owner. You can use it to tell a magical cartoon while I tell the story. C'mon. You got anything else to do?

Willow: Sleep?

Spike: Oh shut up. C'mon and make a bloody illusion(walks off. Willow sighs and walks after him)

(The twin boys are sitting up in their bed in their bedclothes. Spike is sitting on the edge of the bed with the book, and Willow is humming to herself while she works up the magic in a corner)

Spike: Ok, tonight I am going to read to you the story of Rumplestiltskin.

Boy 1: We've heard that before!

Boy 2: Yeah, make it interesting! Give it monsters and dragons!

Boy 1: Yeah, and ninjas!

Spike: (looking confused) Ninjas?

Boy 1: Yeah!

Spike: Ok, ok, I'll modify the story. You ready Willow?

Willow: Yeah.

(Willow starts her illusions and in 3-D an illusion of a ramshackle house and countryside. The two boys ooh and ahhh. A man, dressed in typical fairytale clothes, walks out and goes towards the house. The man is Spike. Spike glares at Willow, who just smiles, and then Spike turns to the book)

Spike: *reading from book* Once apon a time, there was a miller.....

Boy 1: Can he be a ninja?

Cole: Ok, he's a ninja. (Spike turns into a ninja and keeps walking a long. Spike throws another look at Willow. She shrugs. Spike turns back to the book as a female comes out from the house. It's Dawn) And this miller had a daughter.......

Boy 1: Can she be a ninja too?

Spike: Ok, SHE'S a ninja too (Dawn turns into a ninja and Ninja Spike and her start churning some butter) And all they did all day was make butter......

Boy 2: Ninja's don't make butter, they duel!

Spike: OK, so all they did all day was duel. (The butter churn vanishes and Ninja Spike and Ninja Dawn start doing martial arts) Anyway, one day during their dueling, the king's herald......

Boy 1: Ninja.

Spike: Right, ninja, (a walking on view king's herald is turned into a ninja riding on horseback, which takes out a scroll and opens it) Anyway, the King's NINJA said........

Majin Gojira
02-08-2002, 06:07 PM
(The illusion speaks)

King's Ninja: Chee chong wong bong ogaa ee ack ack!

Both Boys: WHAT? What did he say?

Spike: (smirking wolfishly) I don't know, I don't speak ninja!

Boy 1: Ok, change him back. (The ninja becomes a herald again)

Spike: Anyway, the King's Herald came and said.....

King's Herald: Here ye, here ye, all people of the kingdom must present the king with a useful talent or their lives are forfeit!

(The door opens and Anya walks in)

Boys: Anya!!!!!!!

Anya: (smiling) Hi children. (sits down on the bed) What are you doing Spike?

Spike: Reading Rumplestiltskin to Jack and Randy for their bedtime story. Anyway, the ninja was worried......

Anya: Spike, there are no ninjas in Rumplestiltskin.

Spike: There are some bloody ninjas now!

Jack: I'm tired of ninjas. Let's make them monsters!

Spike: OK, they're monsters.

(Ninja Spike and Ninja Dawn turn into monsters. At this point, the real Dawn walks in the door)

Jack/Randy: Dawn!

Dawn: Hello children, Anya, Spike, Willow. Regular gathering here. (looks at Willow's illusions) Cool. What are you doing Spike?

Cole: Reading Rumplestiltskin for a bedtime story. Anyway, the MONSTER was worried......

Dawn: Spike, since when are there monsters in Rumplestiltskin?

Spike: There are no........Ok, that's IT! No monsters, no ninjas, just a miller and his daughter!

(Monster Spike and Monster Dawn turn back into the Miller and his Daughter)

Spike: Now, the Miller and his Daughter......

Dawn: (looking at illusion) Spike, why am I playing your daughter if you and my sister are dating?

Spike: Ok, a miller and his SON. (Dawn turns into Giles dressed in miller clothes). Now the Miller had a problem, because his son had no useful talents. So the Miller went to the King......

Randy: Can he be a ninja?

Spike: NO!

(Illusion changes to a throne room. The King is The Master. Miller Spike walks up and kneels)

Spike: Anyway, the miller told a King a big lie.......

Miller Spike: Hem, my daughter, er, son, has a rare and amazing talent. He can spin straw into gold.

Spike: Well, the King thought this was terrific.......

The Master: This is terrific!

(Spike glares at Willow. She smirks)

Spike: Anyway, the King sent his two guards to get the Miller's Son (Guards Adam and Glory run past the Miller. Scene changes back to the Miller's windmill and home. The guards run in, and come back out with Giles. Scene changes to the inside of a tower filled with straw. The door opens and the King throws the Miller's son in) And then the King locked the Miller's Son in a tower and said......

The Master: You will not be coming out until all this straw is turned into gold!(King slams the door) Now the Miller's Son was despondant, because he could not spin straw into gold.........

Miller's Son Giles: Oh woe is me! Thanks a lot Dad!

Spike: But suddenly, there appeared........

Jack: A 50 foot ape!

(A huge ape foot steps on Giles. A huge ape beats it's chest and roars)

Spike: No, not a 50 foot ape!

(Ape vanishes. Giles sits up looking dazed)

Randy: A really neat space alien!

(A green alien with a big eye with one leg wearing a sneaker hops into the picture. Giles looks in surprise at it)

Spike: *getting annoyed* NO, not a really neat space alien! What appeared was bloody MIDGET!

(Xander, now a midget and dressed in weird clothes, hops in the window. Anya and Dawn start to snicker)

Anya: Xander ain't gonna like THAT..........

Spike: Anyway, the funny little man........

Randy: Can he at least be a superhero?

Spike: *exhasperated* OK, he's a superhero.

(Bloody Midget Xander suddenly is wearing a garish superhero outfit with SX in big letters on the front)

Spike: Anyway, the superhero said to the Miller's Son.....

Superhero Xander: I will spin all this straw into gold for you, if you give me you..........uh......

Jack: VCR!

Superhero Xander: Your VCR!

(Spike rolls his eyes)

Giles: Sure. Deal

Spike: So anyway, the superhero spun all the straw into gold.

(Superhero Xander starts turning the straw into gold. Eventually all the straw is turned into gold)

Spike: Once it was done however, the Superhero, who was a sport, said to the Miller's son.......

Superhero Xander: Tell you what, I'll let you keep your VCR.........if you can guess my name.

Giles: Oh, that shouldn't be too hard. Is it Fred?

Superhero Xander:No

Giles: Harry?

Superhero Xander: No.

Giles: John?

Superhero Xander: Nope.

Spike: Anyway, this went on into the night...........

(Illusion time goes dark. Giles is sitting with piles of books and lists while Superhero Xander is sitting in a chair)

Giles: Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden -schlitter -crasscrenbon -fried -digger -dangle -dungle -burstein -von -knacker - thrasher -apple -banger -horowitz -ticolensic -grander -knotty -spelltinkle-grandlich -grumblemeyer -spelterwasser - kurstlich -himbleeisen -bahnwagen -gutenabend -bitte -ein -nürnburger-bratwustle -gerspurten -mit -zweimache - auuber -hundsfut -gumberaber -shönendanker-kalbsfleisch -mittler -auchervon Hautkopft of Ulm?

Superhero Xander: Nope! You only have one more try to guess my name..........

(Spike looks confused, not sure what to do now. Suddenly a pizza man walks in with a pizza box)

Pizza Man: Hey Rumplestiltskin! Ca pasa?

(Giles jumps up as Xander looks alarmed)

Giles: I know it! I know it! Your name is.........

(suddenly Anya reaches over and grabs the book)

Anya: But before the Miller's son could say the name, a hurricane blew up!

Spike: A HURRICANE.........?

Anya: Yes! (Willow shrugs her shoulders and in the illusion a high wind fly's up and blows away the castle) And it blew the Miller's Son away......(Giles is seen tumbling through the wind)...so he couldn't retrieve his VCR!

(Dawn reaches over and grabs the book from Anya)

Dawn: No! But then, a rocket ship came by and saved the Miller's Son, and carried him back to the VCR! ( A rocket flies by and Giles lands on it. He flies off holding a VCR as Superhero Xander looks mad. Anya grabs the book back)

Anya: But the superhero was determined to get the VCR back with the aid of his, um, trained dinosaurs!

(Dinosaurs run out and attack the rocket ship)

Spike: Trained dinosaurs? Where did these trained dinosaurs come from?

Anya: Same place where all those ninjas came from!

(Giles is shooting at the dinosaurs with a crossbow as Dawn grabs the book back)

Dawn: Yes, but then, the U.S Marines showed up, with their anti-dinosaur squad!

Anya: (Grabs book again) But the mole people were too smart for the marines!

(Spike gives an " I give up" motion and then notices Jack and Randy have fallen asleep. He puts a blanket over them and then motions to Willow. The chaotic illusion vanishes as Willow wipes her forehead and leaves the room. Spike pushes Anya and Dawn, who are still snatching the book back and forth, out the door. Spike closes the door and leaves down the hallway and Anya and Dawn continue to argue in the hallway)

Dawn: Then 83 monsters grabbed the VCR back!

Anya: Then 84 monsters and a giant moth snatched the VCR back from the boy!..................

The End. Feedback please.

silvephantom
08-29-2004, 11:04 AM
HA! Loved it! Very good...NINJA's! I give it a thumbs up...good thing it was a short story, though...too much of that would get...erm...old. But good job!

Bubbles
08-29-2004, 11:32 AM
Loved it ! Made me laugh a whole bunch!