Montage of Spike Quotes

[AngeliqueLaBeouf]

Since Spike is close to my favourite Buffy Character [depends on what kind of mood I'm in to whole I love more, Spike or Angel] i thought I might pop up some Spike Quotes, since well he tends to have some of the best lines.

Feel free to add you're own. This are but a few of the ones I like.

Spike: If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there it would've been like Woodstock. I was at Woodstock. I fed off a flower person and I spent six hours watching my hand move.

(In response to being asked to fight a troll)
Spike: I would, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much.

Spike: I'm bad! It's just I can't bite anymore, thanks to you wankers... Bye the bye, if you're trying to kill her..." (gives Riley two thumbs up)

Spike: Help me out here, Spock, I don't speak loser.

Spike: I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this. Weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man I was, the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again. Love's a funny thing.Just some of the ones I like, hopefully I'll put more up.

Enjoy.

xxAngiexx

[tashalindsey]

My all time favorite Spike quote is when Buffy finds him lurking outside her house and she tell him to explain what he is doing in five words or less.

"Out for a walk...bitch."

Love it.

[Blondie Bear]

SPIKE
(stepping up in front of Fred and Wesley, eagerly)
I can explain. Apparently, when Percy here was younger, he used to be known as "head boy."

ANGEL
Yeah. I already knew that.

SPIKE
Right. I have nothing else to report.

:lmao:

[DarklyDreamingDrusilla]

One of my all time favorite Spike scenes is in In the Dark when he is on top of the building mocking Angel.

Spike: [as Rachel] How can I thank you, you mysterious black-clad hunk of a night thing?
Spike: [as Angel] No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. And now, I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. No, not the hair. Never the hair.
Spike: [as Rachel] But there must be some way I can show my appreciation?
Spike: [as Angel] No, helping those in need's my job, and workin' up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough.
Spike: [as Rachel] I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so...
[gasps]
Spike: [as Angel] Say no more. Evil's still afoot. And I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair-gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away.

By the way imdb.com has a new application called character pages and Spike has one all to himself with tons of quotes you should check it out. Here it is:
Spike (Character) - Filmography by TV series (http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0004915/filmoseries#tt0118276)

[wiccianslayer]

i love spike's quote in barginning part 2

"poor watcher did your life flash before your eyes? cuppa tea cuppa tea almost got shagged cuppa tea"


LUV IT!

[sharkshark]

Well, my mom has a habit of buying a lot of geodes for some reason that we have no room for, and every time she drags me into the room to show me her latest purchase, I always say
"It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big."
I mean, it's not really my favorite quote but I sure use it a lot. And every time I use it, it still makes me giggle a little, XD

[palabravampiress]

Two of my Spike favorites are:

"I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."

and

the one when he called people "happy meals with legs."


I guess they're standards. I didn't have to dig very far back into my memory or look up anything to find them. But, oh well! They're still good!

[Keanoite]

Randy Giles! why didn't you just call me Horny Giles! or Desperate for a Shag Giles!!!

[GATEGOD]

"Watch your mouth, little girl."
"You should know better than to tempt the fates that way."
"'Cause the big bad is back, and this time, it's"-- < zap! >"argggrrr" *falls to the ground*

I was lmao!!! lol

[Keanoite]

Spike: You made a bear!!. You made a bear!!!!
Buffy: I didn't mean to!
Spike: Undo it!! Undo it!!!

[GATEGOD]

YouTube - Best of Spike Season 2-3 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=d-DoakxdGyU)

Everything he say there is awesome!

Spike is definitely one of the coolest characters in the buffyverse.

[DarklyDreamingDrusilla]

I just watched this ep this morning and I crack up at this part everytime.

Woman: Thank you! Thank you! That thing was gonna kill me!
Spike: Well, what do you expect? Out alone in this neighborhood: I got half a mind to kill you myself, you half wit.
Woman: What?
Spike: I mean, honestly, what kind of retard wears heels like that in a dark alley? Take two steps, break your bloody ankle.
Woman: I was just trying to get home!
Spike: Well, get a cab, you moron! And on the way, if a stranger offers you candy, don't get in the van! Stupid cow.

[white avenger]

"Inever wanted to be this good looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear" (It's a curse some of us have to live with)

[wiccianslayer]

Here's one i used on the teacher at my shool last week i was standing by the door when he saw me he said "what you doing lurking there" to which i replied

"i'm not lurking i'm standing about it's a hole different vibe"

true story i swear

[wiccianslayer]

I wanna know what Are your fave spike quotes out of this list so please vote for your favorites it's multiple choice soooooo

1)
Oooh, poor Watcher. Did your whole life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged...cuppa tea?

2)
We like to talk big, vampires do. 'I'm going to destroy the world.' It's just tough guy talk. Strut round with your friends over a pint of blood...the truth is I like this world. You've got dog racing. Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here.

3)
Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent. (everyone looking at him) You Englishmen are always so... (pauses) Bloody hell! (ticks off on his fingers) Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!

4)
Your right. I do deserve to go to Hell...but not today
Reality, bends to desire. That's it isn't it. Why I could touch Fred, write your name in the glass. All I had to do, was want it bad enough. And guess what I want to do now you prissy son of a bitch.

5)
Why do you think we're here? And what's your favorite color? What's your favorite song? Who's the goalkeeper for Manchester United? And how many fingers am I holdin' up? You wanna kill me, try!

6)
Can't even get drunk. Why would anyone ever make a bottle this small? It's inhuman. It's like a bloody tease. It's like, 'Here's what a bottle of Jack would look like if you actually had one', or, 'here's a drink, but it's very far away'.

7)
Spike: Last night was... God, I'm such a jerk. I can't do this.
Buffy: Spike...
Spike: It was the best night of my life. If you poke fun at me you bloody well better use that 'cause I couldn't bear it. It may not mean that much to you.
Buffy: I just told you it did.
Spike: I know, I hear you say it, but... I've lived for sodding ever, Buffy, I've done everything. I've done things with you I can't spell, but I've never been close. To anyone, least of all you; until last night. All I did was hold you, and watch you sleep, and it was the best night of my life. So I'm yeah. Terrified.

8)
You listen to me, i've been alive a bit longer than you and dead a lot longer then that, I've seen things you couldn't imagine and done things i prefer you didn't don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direxction of my brain so i make a lot of mistakes, lot of wrong bloody calls. a hundred plus years... and there's only one thing i've ever been sure of... You. Hey look at me i'm not asking you for anything.
When i say i love you it's not because i want you or because i can't have you, it's has nothing to do with me i love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you and i understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are.
You're a hell of a women.

[Blondie Bear]

I have to choose? I like everything he's ever said!

[Cordelia Chase*]

7 of course! I love that one! Classic Buffy moment! =)

[SH3RRI3]

I choose 8 I just love that quote although it was a toughy cos i also love number 7

[GATEGOD]

You listen to me, i've been alive a bit longer than you and dead a lot longer then that, I've seen things you couldn't imagine and done things i prefer you didn't don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direxction of my brain so i make a lot of mistakes, lot of wrong bloody calls. a hundred plus years... and there's only one thing i've ever been sure of... You. Hey look at me i'm not asking you for anything.
When i say i love you it's not because i want you or because i can't have you, it's has nothing to do with me i love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you and i understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are.
You're a hell of a women.

That has always been my favorite Spike quote. It was very touching and it comforted Buffy. Very cute scene. One of my favorites in the entire show!

[Tranquillity]

I could have ticked them all though i went for 1 - Comedy and 8 for sentiment.

[DarklyDreamingDrusilla]

That was really hard. But I went with one because it is the funniest one. Although 8 was really close to my favorite now I want to go watch that episode.

[Aussie]

Cant choose between 6 and 8 way too hard and way too drunken to choose between the two

[Jules]

I love number 1 and a number 3. Spike is hilariously funny. He has loads of amazingly funny lines.

[Buff Buff]

Buffy: What are you doing here? Five words or less.
Spike: *counting words with his fingers* Out...for...a...walk...*pause* bitch.

I just love that quote!

[IHeartSpike]

My favourite quote is in my signature. the one about loving syphilis. It cracks me up everytime :)

[UlaGan]

Oh, here we go:

SPIKE: What's this? Sitting around watching the telly while there's evil still a foot? That's not very industrious of you. I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies - and Christmas, right? Let's *fight* that evil! - Let's *kill* something!

[Blondie Bear]

UG, you forgot the best part: "Oh, come on!"

[UlaGan]

UG, you forgot the best part: "Oh, come on!"

Silly me %) Yeah that was the best part.

SPIKE: Slaaayer! Here, kitty, kittyyy. I find one of your friends first, I'm gonna suck 'em dry. And use their bones to bash your head in. Are you getting a word picture here?

[Starlet]

Oh,I love all his quotes! It's too hard to choose,really.

[willow23]

I like his speech from Lovers Walk.

Real love isn't brains, children, it's blood, it's blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

So moving and, well, so true.

[littlewilly]

BECOMING pt2; (to Buffy)
''I like it here. you've got grayhound racing, manchester united... and you've got people. Billions of people walking around like happy meals on legs''.

LOVERS WALK; (to Buffy and Angel)
AngeL: ''we need him Buffy''
BuffY: ''we NEED him??? he's probanly just got them locked up in the factory''
SpikE:(frustrated)''how, thick d'you think i am?''
(then later on)
BuffY: ''what about the spell?''
SpikE: ''sod the spell. your friends are in the factory''

IN THE DARK; (to himself)
SpikE: ''thats it. from now on im my own man. yeah. lone wolf. sole survivor, heh heh, yeah, LOOK OUT. HERE COMES SPIKE, THE BIGGEST, BADDEST MOTHER.......'' (puzzled)''whats that smell?....AAAAAAAARGH. i really hope they kill each other''

DOOMED; (to Xander)
XandeR: ''lets rock n roll''
SpikE:(mockingly) ''lets rock and roll!!!''

TABULA RASA; (to Giles/Scoobies)
SpikE; ''listen to mary poppins over there, got his lip all stiff and upper with that nancy boy accent. you english are all the sa.....Oh god....blimey, bollocks, shagging, knickers. oh god, IM english''

[Blondie Bear]

You forgot: "Out. For. A. Walk. Bitch."

[littlewilly]

oh yeah, theres probably a good few i missed, also in Angel S5, when he sits down for an important meeting with angel an cracks open a beer. hahahahaha

[Clem Rocks]

You forgot: "Out. For. A. Walk. Bitch."

Best. One. Ever! By far XD

[palabravampiress]

He had lots of funny lines. He was a funny guy. If I wasn't afraid he would have ripped my throat out or shoved a railroad spike through my head, I would have hung out with him just to hear him talk.

I liked the one about Boba le Fett (sp?).

[The Ferg]

S4:
Giles: Look, Spike - we have no intention of killing a harmless... uh, creature... we have to know what's been done to you. We can't let you go until we're sure that you're... impotent...
Spike: Hey!
Giles: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we're sure you're, you're...
Buffy: Flaccid?
Spike: You are one step away, missy -
Buffy: Giles, help! He's going to scold me.

S4:
Spike: A-a, a bear!! You Made a Bear!
Buffy: I didn't mean too...
Spike: Undo it! Undo it!!!

S5:
Buffy: Tell me why your here in 5 words or less.
Spike: Out-for-a-walk-... Bitch.

S5:
Giles: In fact if you want Tara, you have to go through every one of us.
Spike: 'Cept me.
Xander: Except Spike.
Spike: I don't care what happens.

(GOD! I friggin cracked up when I heard this!!!!)

[caitaintdead]

One of my favourites from Season 4:

Spike: Remember last year? You had on that fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath?
Willow: I never would have guessed. You play the blood lust kinda cool.
Spike: I hate being obvious - all fangy and grrr. Takes the mystery out.

(actually that entire scene is hilarious)

[littlewilly]

or when he is making faces behind joyces back. classic comedy.

[Dancing man]

I may be loves bitch but at least im man enough to admit it. Great line.

[The Ferg]

or when he is making faces behind joyces back. classic comedy.

Yeah, that was absolutely hilarious!

"You are a bad man!"

[The Ferg]

Oh, my bad... I didn't know there was already a thread for Spike quotes... I probably would've seen it if you would've spelled quotes right... ;)

[day walker]

wile not a funny quote

Wood: wared you get that coat?

Spike: New York

i just liked that scene

[IHeartSpike]

As I have said MANY times on here already....i like the quote:

Spike: 'I love Syphilis more then you'

i don't know why i like it....it just makes me giggle when he says it :)

Ohhh...and i also like:

Spike: 'Randy Giles? Why not call me horny Giles or desperate for a shag Giles. I knew there was a reason I hated you.'

:D

[littlewilly]

or what about

''can i have someone to eat?''

or when he says to Angel

''poofter''

[day walker]

in pangs

"can he stay? i think i can eat some one if they are all ready dead."

[littlewilly]

How good is it when in 'not fade away' Spike gets to do his poem from FFL and everyone loves it???

Edit:

And when they are arguing about cavemen v astronauts. and when he punches Angel in the girl in question

[SpikedBuffy]

Pangs

A bear! You made a bear! Undo it! Undo it!

:)

[Keanoite]

Ok guys I have merged about 4 'Spike Quotes' threads together. It's a bit of a mix/mash but all the threads were basically asking the same thing so I threw em together so they won't get lonely;)

If you have a Spike quote to share with the board do it here, no need to start any new threads. Makes the place all cluttered:D

[The Ferg]

Ooo, I love when Spike is on Angel on the episode... "In The Dark" I think. I haven't seen the episode, but I've seen that scene. It's his interpretation of Angel. Wait a second, I'll get it of Wikiquotes!

[Angel has just saved Rachel from a violently abusive boyfriend, while Spike watches—and narrates—from the rooftop.]
Spike [as Rachel, falsetto]: How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad, hunk of a night thing?
Spike [as Angel, basso]: No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a bad-ass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. [Rachel sways closer to Angel; he steps back, warding her off with his hands.] No, not the hair! Never the hair!
Spike [as Rachel]: But there must be some way I can show my appreciation.
Spike [as Angel]: No, helping those in need's my job. And working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough!
Spike [as Rachel]: I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so...
Spike [as Angel]: Ah. Say no more. Evil's still afoot ... and I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair gel that I like so much. Quickly! To the Angelmobile — AWAY!

[littlewilly]

Have you seen in the dark yet the Ferg? The best episode of Angel ever. Spike is on top form. '' i understand, i have a nephew who's gay'' ha ha ha. Throw in Oz , Marcus and Doyle and you've got a top class episode.
Id give it 100/100.

[SC7 Fan]

my favourite quote from spike has to be this;

buffy:i love you

spike: no you don't, but thanks for saying it

[The Kinslayer]

Obviously all the classic ones have already been said and no need to repeat them all over again. But there is one scen that always crack me up. And yes, the scene itself is better than the quote alone.

Spike: [while trying to 'study' Illyria] Right, we need to set some ground rules. First off, no more punching me in the face! Secondly, when I punch YOU in the face, you tell me how you feel, so I can write it down on my clipboard.
[picks up his clipboard, gets defensive]
Spike: Third - no touching my clipboard.
Illyria: I enjoy hurting you.
Spike: Well we're gonna have to fix that, 'cause-
[Illyria kicks Spike in the face]

[Hello Cutie]

'And you chose to be in the consumer service profession and I'm a consumer- service me.'

'Oh SOMEONE put a stake in me'

'Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them, for justice, and for... the safety of puppies... and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Oh, come on!'

'We like to talk big... vampires do. "I'm going to destroy the world." That's just tough-guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I _like_ this world. You've got...dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Good-bye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester-bloody-Square.'


And the one from S1 of Angel-
'How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad hunk of a night thing?
No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. (Rachel steps closer to Angel, and Angel steps back warding her off with his hands) No, not the hair! Never the hair!
But there must be someway I can show my appreciation.
No, helping those in need's my job, - and working up a load of sexual tension, and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough!
I understand. I have a nephew who is gay, so
Say no more. Evil's still afoot! And I'm almost out of that Nancy-boy hair-gel that I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away!

Go on with you. Play the big, strapping hero while you can. You have a few surprises coming your way. - The ring of Amarra, a visit from your old pal Spike, - and, oh yeah, - your gruesome, horrible death. Smiles.'

[littlewilly]

cant remember exactly what was said but in storyteller when anrews taping Spike and its all an act and he does it again was hilarious.

[Oz77700777]

I lik the one day walker used

[DarkAvenger]

:lmao: Spike has so many funny quotes. I can't choose a favourite but i really like this one:

Buffy: Five words or less Spike
Spike: Out, for, a, walk... Bitch

What can we say? He's perfect :D

[fly on the wall]

This has probably been said already, but:

(In "The Weight of the World", when nobody remembers Ben turning into Glory)
Spike: Is everyone here very stoned?

:happy04:

[littlewilly]

Id never noticed before but season 5 has to be Spikes funniest. Here's a few more funnies ive noticed while rewatching it.

1. The bit in either Triangle(possibly checkpoint) when he's in his crypt and he's practicing for Buffy by talking to the dummy, and he ends up getting all riled up and starts bashing the dummys head with the box of chocolates he's holding.

2. This is one of those small things you hardly even remember, but also in Triangle in the Bronze when Olaf throws Buffy into Spike and when they(buff and spike) are getting back up spikes hands are all over her waist, holding her back a bit, then he has a sneaky look on his face.

3. Cant remember episode but that bit when Riley walks in on Spike sniffing Buffys sweater, and Spike pretending its to 'get his enemys scent, grrrrr'.

4. In Crush, Buffy and Spike enter a vamps place, and the vamps run away. Then buffy says ''they've been holed up here for a while'' to which Spike replies ''What ya saying.... a couple of poofters?''

[Veyron]

Ah Spike. Wonderfully funny Spike. I simply adore anything to do with Spike - he's my all time favourite Buffy character, so any piece of dialogue that comes out of his mouth is golden to me - it doesn't matter if it's profanity or some of the classics as listed above, it's all good!

Oh and I'm pissed that I missed the damn poll... is there a way to keep these things open longer so that late comers to the board can have a go too???

Sidenote: I missed the poll by 1 year, 1 month and a few days... sorry.. I'll keep my mouth shut and go sit in the corner now ;)

[pernilleborup]

Spike : I'm drowning in footwear!

[littlewilly]

Where the wild things are (VERY popular ep ; ))
Spikes on form in this ep.

Spike: ''yeah, i did scare you............ Gimme ya money''

Anya: ''im not paying you for scaring me''

Spike: ''youre not paying me, im robbing you''

[pernilleborup]

Anne: "Are you drunk?"
William: "...Little bit."



Also

Xander: "HEY, that's my radio!"
Spike: "And you're what? Chocked and dissapointed? I'm evil!"

[itsxpaperdoll]

I still like one of the first things he said very much, it was such a great introduction to Spike-ness:
(from school hard, s2)
Spike: Yeah, I did a couple of Slayers in my time. I don't like to brag. [laughs] Who am I kidding? I love to brag!

and don't forget his first line ever(?), when he get's out of the car, lights a cigarette, says "home sweet home", with that lovely demonic smile of his..