Season Two Quotes

[greetings]

So what are some of everyone's favourite quotes from season two? Do share.

Some of mine would be...

"You just don't like him because of that time he beat you up every day for five years." - Willow, to Xander.

"Maybe we should ask that crazy man with the big ol' knife." - Xander, Inca Mummy Girl. I don't know why it just always made me laugh.

Willow: Well, you know, I have a choice. I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me, or I can just... get on with my life.
Buffy: Good for you.
Willow: Well I didn't choose yet.
awwwwww. so cute.

"Yeah, I know who I am too, so what?" - Spike. Ah, if only I could be that constantly dismissive.

Buffy: Have I ever let you down?
Giles: Do you want me to answer that or should I just glare?

Giles: Yes, I must consult my books.
Xander: Oh, eight minutes and thirty-three seconds, pay up. I called ten minutes before you'd consult your books about something.

[LittleMissLikesToFight]

Spike:"I'm a veal kind of guy. You're too old to eat. (snaps neck) but not to kill. I feel better."

and Xander: "A bonus day of class plus Cordelia! Mix in a little rectal surgery, and it's my best day ever!"

[Dlou444]

I just have one, but it makes me laugh EVERY SINGLE TIME. In fact, it makes me laugh every time Spike comes on screen for at least all of season 2.

Spike: "The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in the cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one."

[willow23]

Snyder: Are we having a
chair shortage?

Willow: I didn't read anything about... Oh...I get it.

Snyder: These public displays of affection are not acceptable in my
school. This isn't an orgy, people. It's a classroom.

Buffy: Yeah! Where they teach lunch.

Best. Quote. Ever.

[greetings]

Oz: Hey. That girl. Who is she?
Devon: She's an exchange student. I think she's from South America.
Oz: No, not her. The Eskimo.
^_^

Ampata: Xander, we can be together. Just... just let me have this one. (Willow)
Xander: That's never gonna happen.
I love Willow/Xander moments.

[UlaGan]

I love nearly all Drussila lines - especially the way she refers to Spike.

And just remember that undying dialogue Buffy had with her Mom in "Bad Eggs" - about hardships of motherhood:

When Buffy complained she hadn't slept well that night, and Mom mocked her by wondering if her egg keep her up all night?
and Buffy was all like You're killing me. Parenting's a pain! her Mom went: Wait till it starts dating.

I just love Bad Eggs. So many word pearls can be found there!

[Blondie Bear]

I just love Bad Eggs. So many word pearls can be found there!

Yeah, like Xander's "I think Buffy has decided that the problem with the English language is all those pesky words."

[UlaGan]

And the part where Xander's boiled Xander Junior:

Xander: Yeah! I know it sounds cruel, but sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind! I mean, you can bet that little Xander here is thick skinned now.
Giles: Technically that would be cheating, yes?
Xander: No! It's like a short cut. You know, when you run a race?
Buffy: That would also be cheating.
Willow: You should be ashamed.
Giles: I suppose there is a sort of... Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression.
Xander: I resent that! Or possibly thank you.

and after this a bit:

Xander: Sorry, Junior, but a man's gotta eat.

[GATEGOD]

OZ: Aunt Maureen. Hey, it's me. Um, what? Oh! It's, uh... actually it's healing okay. That's pretty much the reason I called. Um, I wanted to ask you something. Is Jordy a werewolf? Uh-huh. And how long has that been going on? Uh-huh. What? No, no reason. Um... Thanks. Yeah, love to Uncle Ken.

[Kimz]

LOL
a favourite of mine was always...

School hard..

Spike: You were my sire man! you were my... yoda!
Angel: Things change.
Spike: Not us! Not demons! Man, I can't believe this. You Uncle Tom!
Come on, people! This isn't a spectator
sport!


x

[Jules]

Cordelia: Is Mr. I'm-the-lead-singer-I'm-so-great-I-don't-have-to-show-up-for-my-date-or-even-call gonna be there?
Oz: Yeah, y'know, he's just going by 'Devon' now.

Willow: Buffy, are you hurt?
Buffy: (sits up) Buffy?
Willow: (to Xander) She's not Buffy.
Xander: Who's Buffy?
Willow: Oh, this is fun. (to Buffy) What year is this?

Willow: Okay, your name is Cordelia, you're not a cat, you're in high school, and we're your friends. Well, sort of.
Cordelia: That's nice, Willow. And you went mental when?

That's one of my fave funny episodes!!

[FaithyFivebyFive]

Willow: Angel, how do you shave?

Cordelia: (To Buffy) Well you and your mum are welcome to ride around in my car anytime you want! ... (<< I'm not sure I got the quote exactly right but along those lines anyway. :))

[Lucinda]

I looove reading quotes :) Never get tired of em.
I love looking back at Cordelia now, she grew so much in Angel.

Cordelia: I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that kind of effort. And I know the peasants were all depressed...
Xander: I think you mean "oppressed."
Cordelia: Whatever. They were cranky. So they're, like, "Let's lose some heads." Uhhh! That's fair. And, and Marie Antoinette cared about them. She was gonna let them have cake!

[FaithyFivebyFive]

Xander: "You know for once I wish you'd defend me, I realise you are and I'm embarrased..."

(I couldn't remember the quote word-for-word)

[Aussie]

I like this from 'When She Was Bad' Willow was so cute back then :)

Willow: What'd you do last night?
Buffy: Mm. Slept. I had weird dreams.
Xander: Dreams are meaningful.
Willow: Tsh! Tell me about it. The other night I dreamt that Xander... Uh, I-it wasn't Xander. I-in fact it wasn't me. It was a friend's dream, and she doesn't remember it.
Buffy: I bet she doesn't.

[The Chosen]

It was in Inca Mummy Girl when Buffy's brushing her hair and I think it goes something like Buffy pulls her hair and complains to Joyce about a split end and Joyce just goes:

"Life is hard, dear."

LMAO!

[Aussie]

Whats my line?

Xander: What, and suck all the spontaneity out of being young and stupid? I'd rather live in the dark.
Willow: You're not gonna be young forever.
Xander: Yes, but I'll always be stupid.

[Hello Cutie]

Oh my God!! You guys have left out possibly one of the best Spike quotes ever!!!! (Or else i'm blind!)

Spike: 'Truth is, I like this world. It's got dog-racing, Manchester United, and people. Lots of little people walking around like happy meals on legs.'

Also, and just because I can..

Spike: 'Hello Cutie' :lmao:

[Cangel]

When she was bad; Buffy and Angel talking
Buffy:You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry, was that an offensive term? Should I say 'undead American'?

[Entiel]

In killed by death
Buffy:Nonvampire. Plus two.
Xander:Man, Buffy. My whole life just flashed before my eyes. I gotta get me a life.

[RockManic]

The best Spike season two line, in my opinion...

"It's a big rock. Can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big."

Classic!

[UlaGan]

Here's some more quotes I like besides already mentioned (by me :) ) Bad Eggs:

Xander: Are we overlooking the idea that she may be very attracted to me? She's possessed.

Giles: What are you gonna do? Crawl inside a cave for the rest of your life?
Buffy: Would it have cable?

Xander: My dad tried to sell me to some Armenians once. Does that count?

Willow: On the other hand, maybe Rodney just stepped out for a smoke.
Xander: For twenty-one hours?
Willow: It's addictive, you know.

Xander: Private Harris reporting for... Buffy! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in awe! I completely renounce spandex!

Buffy: Oh, Will, you're supposed to use your powers for good!
Willow: I just wanna learn stuff.
Cordelia: Like how to build your own serial killer?
Xander: Uh, it's so hard to rent one nowadays.

Giles: Quite. And it, uh, acts on-on pure instinct. No conscience, uh, uh, predatory and, and aggressive.
Buffy: In other words, your typical male.
Xander: On behalf of my gender, hey!
Giles: Yes, let's not jump to any conclusions.
Buffy: I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were.

Spike: Did you see any further? Do you know what happens to Angel?
Angelus: Well, he moves to New York and tries to fulfill that Broadway dream. It's tough sledding, but one day he's working in the chorus when the big star twists her ankle.
Spike: You don't give up, do you?
Angelus: As long as there's injustice in the world, as long as scum like you is walking... well, rolling the streets... I'll be around. Look over your shoulder. I'll be there.

Oz, to Willow: "The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that? You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen. So I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, 'Hey, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity.' And, you know, the monkey's just (French accent) 'I mock you with my monkey pants.' And then there's a big coup at the zoo."
Willow: "The monkey is French?"
Oz: "All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?"

Edit:

Bangelxx agrees: "I mock you with my monkey pants" best quote EVER!

No doubts,
tough, I think there's a tie with "Joyce: Wait till it starts dating" (Bad Eggs) - I ended up with my stomach hurt from laughing too hard.

[Hello Cutie]

Buffy- 'Do we really need weapons for this?'
Spike- 'I just like them. The make me feel all manly.'

[Crazy Flakes]

Just watched The Dark Age and have a couple quotes...

Willow: Do you think Giles ever played Anywhere But Here when he was in school?
Xander: Giles lived for school. He's actually still bitter that there were only twelve grades.
Buffy: He probably sat in math class thinking, "There should be more math. This could be mathier."

And, my personal favorite:

Willow: C'mon. You don't think he ever got restless as a kid?
Buffy: Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed. *sees Giles* Giles!
Giles: Oh, there you are.
Buffy: (re: Giles' outfit) Say, is that tweed?
Giles: What? Oh, ah, yes.

[eunsoma]

I always laugh in the scene where Xander and Cordy have the little classroom spat (can't remember the episode)
Xander: You wanna talk negative consequence? What about the heartbreak of hallitosis? I mean a girl may look spiffy but if she ignores her flossing the bloom is definitely off the rose.
Cordelia: Like that compares to kissing a guy who thinks the hoover technique is a big turn-on.
Xander: What about having to feign interest in her vapid little chitchat just so you could get some touch?

In The Dark Age:
Cordelia: Why does eveyone always yell my name? I'm not deaf and I can take a hint. What's the hint?

[SoBlind]

*Some Assembly Required*
Buffy: Is it 'cause I danced with him?
Angel: 'Danced with' is a pretty loose term. 'Mated with' might be a little closer.

*Lie To Me*
Angel: Do you love me?
Buffy: What?
Angel: Do you?
Buffy: I love you. I don't know if I trust you.
Angel: Maybe you shouldn't do either.
Buffy: Maybe I'm the one who should decide!

*Innocence*
Cordelia: This is great. There's an unkillable demon in town, Angel's joined his team, the Slayer is a basket case... I'd say we've hit bottom.
Xander: I have a plan.
Cordelia: Oh, no, here's a lower place.

*Passion*
Angelus: Well, maybe next time I'll bring you with me, Spike. Might be handy to have you around if I ever need a really good parking space.

Angelus: Passion, it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir. Open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all...and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love, the clarity of hatred and the ecstacy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd truly be dead.

*Becoming Part 1*
Whistler: Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.

*Becoming Part 2*
Joyce: Well, it stops now!
Buffy: No, it doesn't stop. It never stops. Do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is? How dangerous? I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or, god, even studying! Instead I have to save the world. Again!

Buffy: The whole earth may be sucked into Hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big ho? Well, let me take this opportunity to not care.

Buffy: Hello, lover.
Very nice opening of her cos thats how Angelus always used to greet her

Angelus: Now that's everything, huh? No weapons... No friends...No hope. Take all that away... and what's left?
Buffy: Me.

[littlewilly]

Spike:
'So, this slayer. Is she tough?'
or
'So what, if you ask me i find myself preffering the old Buffy whipped Angelus 'cause this new improved one is not playing with the full sack. I love a good slaughter as much as the next man, but these little pranks you keep playing are only gonna leave us with one incredibly brassed off slayer.'

or
'Dru killed a slayer? good for her. although not for you i suppose'.

and one more

Willy the snitch: 'what are you gonna do with him?'
Spike 'Im thinking dinner and a movie'

[LifeIsJustThis]

Xander: Angel was in your bedroom?
Willow: Ours is a forbidden love.

:)

[LorneyTunes]

"We like to talk big... vampires do. "I'm going to destroy the world." That's just tough-guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I _like_ this world. You've got...dog racing, Manchester united. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Good-bye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester-bloody-Square."

[SC7 Fan]

I like most of Drusilla's quotes

Drusilla: Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?
Spike: Eyeballs to entrails my sweet.

Drusilla: The boy doesn't trust you. They follow him. I think sometimes that all my hair will fall out and I'll be bald.

Drusilla: Do you like daises? I plant daises but they always die. Everything I put in the ground withers and dies.

I love this one:
Cordelia: Oh, he's a vampire! Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs.

Spike: Is anyone on watch here? It's called security, people! Are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?

Spike: (On Ford's request to become a vampire) I've known you for two minutes and I already can't stand you. I really don't feature you living forever. (to Drusilla) Can I eat him now, love?

Willow: HEY! We don't have time for this! Our friends are in trouble! Now, we have to put our heads together and, and get them out of it! And if you two aren't with me a hundred and ten percent, then get the hell out of my library!

Buffy: I wish we could be regular kids.
Angel: Yeah. I'll never be a kid.
Buffy: Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend.

Xander: So, why go to all the trouble of inventing something, and then giving it a weak name like that? I mean, I'da gone with "The Cross-o-matic", or, uh, "The Amazing Mr. Cross".

Kendra: Did I not see you kissing a vampire?
Willow: Buffy would never do that! [to Buffy] Oh. Except for... sometimes you do that. [to Kendra] But only with Angel! [to Buffy] Right?

Buffy: It's OK. Kendra killed the bad lamp.

Xander: Angel's our friend! Except I don't like him.

Kendra: That's me favourite shirt! It's me only shirt!

Buffy: I mean, people are perfectly happy getting along, and then vampires come, and they run around and they kill people, and they take over your whole house, they start making these stupid little mini-pizzas, and everyone's like, "I like your mini pizzas", but I'm telling you, I am—

[spikelover]

i know im VERY late but still i wanted to put my two cents in :]

Spike: If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock. I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person, and I spent the next six hours watching my hand move.

Jenny: Rupert, you have got to read something that was published after 1066.

Buffy: La vache... doit me... touche... de la... jeudi. [looks at Willow] Was it wrong? Should I use the plural?
Willow: No. But you said, 'The cow should touch me from Thursday.'
Buffy: Maybe that's what I was feeling.
Willow: And you said it wrong.
Buffy: Oh, je stink.

Angel: I taught you to always guard your perimeter. [tuts.] You should have someone out there.
Spike: I did. I'm surrounded by idiots. What's new with you?
Angel: Everything.
Spike: Yeah. Come up against this Slayer yet?
Angel: She's cute. Not too bright, though. Gave her the puppy dog "I'm all tortured" act. Keeps her off my back when I feed.
Spike: People still fall for that Anne Rice routine? What a world!
Xander: I knew you were lying. Undead liar guy.

Xander: So, when you gave him my neck to chew on, why didn't you clock him before he had a chance to clock you?
Angel: I told you. I couldn't make the first move. I had to see if he was buying it or not.
Xander: A-and if he bit me, what then?
Angel: We would've known he bought it.

Dalton: Yes, but ... The Order of Taraka. I mean, isn't that overkill?
Spike: No, I think it's just enough kill.