The power went out again today, so unfortunately I couldn't do the vacuuming.
Nothing like the power going out to remind you how reliant you are on it. Mine goes out and I'm like "Okay, can't watch TV. I'll -- right, can't go on the internet. Well, maybe -- oh, no light for reading. I could -- nope, no coffee pot without power. Well, maybe -- no, I shouldn't open the fridge unless I have to. I could - no, no playing board games in the dark." I'm a mess without it.
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I'd already seen the neighbours for a cuppa this morning, and taken the dogs for long walks around town so we decided to go down to the coast for an afternoon walk by the water. It was warm and still, the water was like glass. I tried to take photos of the poodle but she was mesmerised by it and refused to look at me. We had a nice little walk, there were very few people and only one other dog.
My preferred cuppa is "joe," but I do like a good Earl Grey. You can blame Jean-Luc for that, if you like.
Growing up, whenever we took the dogs to the lake, my gordon setter Jazz (Jasmine) would always jump right in the water at the first opportunity. She would then proceed to immediately panic and paddle wildly because she was in over her head. But it wouldn't stop her next time. Silly dog. I say that with love.
So it was peaceful. Both dogs were so well behaved and seemed to enjoy it. They tire out fast in new places! All the new sniffs to do. They found a rabbit or maybe a bandicoot trail, so that was great for them. We saw a few lizards on the paths sunning themselves too.
A bandicoot? Have you seen Crash around? Tell me I said "hey."
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I was waiting for a phone appointment all day, which stuck me in freeze mode most of the day. I dont really know exactly what it is for, they are vague but the last GP I saw sent a referral to them, and he was very good, so I will go along with it for now. She did say I was in control and it wasnt a mental health order, but I definitely meet access for community assistance. I know I can manage about 3 appointments before I have a nervous breakdown, so Im hoping the face to face appointment is a few months away.
I hate face-to-face appointments. And you'd think that the phone would give the distance to ease that, but not by a lot, I find. I have a phone appointment once a week, and I always dread it. It's never as bad as I fear, but I never want to take it, and if I'm feeling the least bit out of sorts (a cold starting or a lack of sleep), I seize that as a valid excuse to avoid it. I know I shouldn't. But then I shouldn't drink so much coffee either. As the man sang, "some things are bad for me, and some things I just can't resist."
I really hope it is more than just chatting about feelings. I did that for years and it didnt help at all, but maybe they can refer me to something else if they arent the right place. I duno yet. We'll see. If its another dead end I dont want to try again. Im pretty safe in this house and I dont want to jeopardise that.
I know therapy is good for some people, and I'm glad, but not everyone has the same means of processing things, so it's not the best tool for everyone. I never found it particularly helpful. At best, I liked my therapist, in which case it was like talking to a friend. At worst, I didn't like them, and it was a waste of time and energy. That's just me, though.
