Is Cordelia asexual?

[Monkey Pants]

I headcanon Cordelia as asexual. I don't think it's 100% supported in the text if you dig deep enough, but it is enough for me. Even in high school, and then later in life, she rarely talked about sex, or having sex, or finding guys (or anyone) sexually attractive. I really appreciate that she was a female character who almost didn't seem to care about sex at all. I don't think it's intended, but it works.

 

[Ethan Reigns]

When Cordelia was out parked with Xander in the early seasons of Buffy, she implied that she knew the area because she had done the same thing before. She was one of the popular girls and if she had turned boys down or been a tease, she would not have been. I don't see Cordelia as asexual on Ats, just an unwilling celibate because she could not find anyone she wanted.

 

[DeadlyDuo]

I headcanon Cordelia as asexual. I don't think it's 100% supported in the text if you dig deep enough, but it is enough for me. Even in high school, and then later in life, she rarely talked about sex, or having sex, or finding guys (or anyone) sexually attractive. I really appreciate that she was a female character who almost didn't seem to care about sex at all. I don't think it's intended, but it works.

I disagree. Just because Cordelia didn't talk about wanting sex or having sex doesn't mean she's asexual (she found Angel attractive "Hello salty goodness"). Cordelia seems like the type of person who values discretion, she doesn't want to be seen as a slut. She wouldn't want a guy bragging about how he bedded her and she's not going to go telling people how many guys she's slept with. Her reputation was important to her.

She had a brief romance with Wesley in Buffy Season 3, she had a budding relationship with Doyle which was cut short, she had the "relationship" with Angel etc.

I agree that it's nice to have a female character who's life doesn't revolve around sex, men and relationships, however, I don't agree with the inference that just because she doesn't let it dominate her life that she must be asexual.

 

[GraceK]

She also sleeps with the guy in the episode Expecting , is very excited about Kumshucking with Groo in Pylea until she learns it will take away her powers, spends an entire episode in season3 trying to get a magical method of control so she can sleep with Groo ...goes away on vacation with him , also mentions that the only action she gets is from a ghost with a loofah, not to mention all the sexual chemistry she had with Xander in season 2 ..making out every moment they could in closets.

How on earth does any of that make her Asexual? If anything, she is one of the few female characters with a HEALTHY sex drive. Just because her sexual eexperiences don't end with evil vampires trying to destroy the world, and self destructive BDSM doesn't mean she's asexual.

 

[white avenger]

Because she's been sexually attracted to Angel, Xander and her other boyfriends 😀
Although, she never had sex with Xander.

I always thought that, just maybe, Xander and Cordy did finally have sex right after the final scene of Part 2 of "Graduation Day." Right after Oz says, "No, we survived GRADUATION," and they turn and walk away, Cordy is speaking to Xander, and it looks like she puts her hand on his arm and laughs. By then, she had had enough time for the sting of his betrayal to have diminished a bit, and she had to know that he was genuinely sorry about what happened. (I don't think that him paying for her prom dress had anything to do with it, by the way. Cordy wasn't a hooker. Still, she would have seen it as a sweet gesture) It's not uncommon for teenagers to lose their virginity after Prom or Graduation, I do honestly believe that Cordy was a virgin at that time, and I think that that's pretty much what happened between Xander and Cordy. She was leaving Sunnydale to seek her fortune in the Big City, and I don't think that she would have wanted to go away completely inexperienced. Maybe she no longer thought that she was in love with him, but she felt genuine affection for him, and I think that, under those circumstances, that would have been enough.

 

[Bop]

I always thought that, just maybe, Xander and Cordy did finally have sex right after the final scene of Part 2 of "Graduation Day." Right after Oz says, "No, we survived GRADUATION," and they turn and walk away, Cordy is speaking to Xander, and it looks like she puts her hand on his arm and laughs. By then, she had had enough time for the sting of his betrayal to have diminished a bit, and she had to know that he was genuinely sorry about what happened. (I don't think that him paying for her prom dress had anything to do with it, by the way. Cordy wasn't a hooker. Still, she would have seen it as a sweet gesture) It's not uncommon for teenagers to lose their virginity after Prom or Graduation, I do honestly believe that Cordy was a virgin at that time, and I think that that's pretty much what happened between Xander and Cordy. She was leaving Sunnydale to seek her fortune in the Big City, and I don't think that she would have wanted to go away completely inexperienced. Maybe she no longer thought that she was in love with him, but she felt genuine affection for him, and I think that, under those circumstances, that would have been enough.

It's a possibility, I always thought they had come to an understanding between each other before she left for LA and maybe that extended to sex who knows?
I'd have thought that Cordy would have been Xander's first time considering how long they had been going out but clearly not so...I think that's the best piece of evidence that we have for Cordy being asexual 😀

 

[Bluebird]

I don't think Cordelia is asexual. Like has been said, she implies she's had sex before. I also believe she's very confident when it comes to sexual relationships and dating in general, so we don't see a lot of discussion or her pining over guys. She was a semi antagonist in the first season too, a role you do not get a pov from, that restricts her sexuality from the audience. She is seen as the popular girl who always has a guy on her arm while Buffy and Willow pine over Angel and Xander. We get to hear them express their emotional connections, as protagonists.

 

[AndrewCrossett]

I don't think Cordy was asexual, but I do think she stayed a virgin right through high school. She did a good job of threading that needle socially... never confirm that you're a virgin or you'll be seen as frigid or a goody-goody; never confirm that you've had sex or you'll be slut-shamed.

The only two times we know of that Cordy had sex turned out horribly for her. The first time she got a bellyfull of demon babies and the second time she gave birth to Jasmine. I hope she's getting lucky... and having better luck... in the afterlife.

 

[Tez]

I think after Wilson Christopher she lacked trust big time well to anyone who wasn't Wesley and angel so she pretty much stopped dating then after the never ending visions she kind threw herself whole heartedly into the mission not to forget the effect the visions were starting to have on her season 2 so I think all them factors are the reason you didn't really see her go on any real dates or have many boyfriends or anything however she definatly showed sexual feeling towards groo

 

[Ethan Reigns]

I wondered about the treatment of Cordelia's sexuality, looked up the four main writers are all male hence the sexualized but not sexual. I think this thing happens where a double standard gets applied to the main lead female character which Cordelia was the only one for a while, Wesley had a on screen on night stand I thought a episode where that had been Cordelia would have been better she was apparently the in universe attractive and worldly one but nerdy Wesley gets to have a waking up underneath the sheets love scene.

A relationship came from this tryst but to my eyes it looked like a inferred reference to a one night stand. I would have enjoyed Cordelia's sexuality getting this treatment with Wesley's casual references to late night hook ups. Remember this was a time before Sex And The City. Cordelia gets the protective Scully treatment in terms of sex yet put her in a bikini, the camera never ever lingers on the shirtless muscled torso of the men unless that is in a desexualized matter of fact way.

Although I don't care for the opening scene of Fringe, this pattern emerged after Sex and the city and Grey's Anatomy where the strong female lead has to be introduced frolicking in bed, For a man this introduction would signify a casanova, it is more a common occurrence for female characters and signifies not much of anything? I don't know it's complicated.. that's why it helps to have female writers.

Top marks for understanding the modern way of writing characters.

There is a tendency in modern screenwriting for television to take beautiful people and show them having trouble getting sex. NCIS is full of this with Tony DiNozzo having "dry spells", the female leads having troubles stemming from being a former assassin (Ziva David) or a marriage where the husband cheated (Ellie), Abby never having any sex at all and the male lead (Gibbs) having infrequent sex with women who are in opposing legal and political positions against him. If you want viewers to like a program, you show beautiful people having as much trouble as the viewer himself with sex. It makes people feel good that even though they do not look as good as the people on-screen, they are not any worse off, sexually. If you have a spectacularly beautiful actress like Charisma Carpenter, you are better off showing that she has problems getting a date than showing her with a hunky boyfriend or a satisfying marriage or a string of conquests.

 

[Bite-me]

I think I want to watch two established characters on a drama with a FWB situation, one which is not termed as such because its not a running gag, it is two well liked characters who are platonic friends/work colleagues that also sleep together and this is referenced explicitly not inferred or implied at the same time it is not mimed for drama, romance or plot.

I am not asking in a liberationist way but it would be one example of a rare portrayal of positive sexuality, to think Stars Trek and Battlestar Galactica and all the other feminist helmed comedies and so forth, people don't exist as sexual beings on US television without the tears and recrimination or monogamous committed relationship and the drama to require it.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

"Is Cordelia asexual?" Yes. A sexual dynamo. Look at all the times she got knocked up! Plus she was a junior going on the prowl for college kids. That tells you right there she was a sexual dynamo. I mean, if it were a college girl with a High School boy that would be one thing, but guys are generally looked down upon- especially frat boys- for dating High School girls.

 

[BuffMarsters]

I disagree. Just because Cordelia didn't talk about wanting sex or having sex doesn't mean she's asexual (she found Angel attractive "Hello salty goodness"). Cordelia seems like the type of person who values discretion, she doesn't want to be seen as a slut. She wouldn't want a guy bragging about how he bedded her and she's not going to go telling people how many guys she's slept with. Her reputation was important to her.

Yeah, her father was rich and powerful, wasn’t he? I’m not saying wealthy and class always go hand in hand, but there are often certain expectation that come with being from a more moneyed family. Maybe Cordelia was less explicitly sexual because that was what she was taught...that talking about sex explicitly is crude and unseemly.

So even if Cordy wanted to openly talk about sex (and her blunt personality would definitely indicate that as the more likely scenario), maybe she felt she couldn’t. This is all speculation, obviously. I definitely didn’t get the vibe that Cordelia was asexual. If anything Cordelia seemed more likely to pick a guy who was attractive with rippling muscles (I.e.angel the first time she saw him) even if she didn’t know his personality or anything else about him. A romantic interest implies some kind of closeness or connection. Cordelia often dated people who she saw as being in the same league as her (i.e.popular jock guys) or she picked hot guys like angel, who she felt a physical pull towards.

Xander was an exception...because she never found him physical attractive. But because they had all this witty verbal back-and forth, that could be seen as a form of romantic/sexual tension. That tension is what leads to them making out all the time, and it’s clear by the end of it, that Cordy was hurt when Xander cheated on her(and not just upset because him cheating on her ruined his reputation). I mean if Cordy didn’t care about Xander, she would have just called off their fling, rather than go public with it, but she did.

So Cordy is definitely into guys sexually, so far as I’m concerned. The romantic interest for her developed later, if anything.