Why people hate Xander?

[burrunjor]

Am I the only one who was rooting for Xander to win Buffy over when I first watched the show in S1? Gotta love an underdog.

But ultimately it worked out for the best that he didn't. Buffy drops her "one true love" for the next "totally my real one true love" every other week, meanwhile the BFFs are forever. Because they aren't cool enough to get their own spinoffs--I mean, "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Friendship is forever, true friendship never ends."

I LOVE a good underdog story too. Fry and Leela are my favourite, and I love a story about a badass woman and a more sensitive man, but honestly I was never rooting for Xander and Buffy.

I think they probably meant them to be a Fry and Leela type story, but Nicholas and Sarah just did not have that kind of chemistry. From the start they seemed like siblings. To be honest I never even bought his crush on Buffy LOL, never mind her having feelings for him.

She doesn't seem his type at all, plus his crush on her unlike Fry and Leela always seemed a bit shallow. It was just "hot chick" and that's it. HIm and Anya, even though I don't like her character much, still have a good "misfits who find each other" vibe.

To be honest they should have junked him pining for her after the first episode in my opinion. It went nowhere and just undermined Xander's genuine reasons to hate Angel.

Post automatically merged: Yesterday at 11:08 PM

Xander was never a relationship fit for either Buffy or Willow. Willow is too much of an egghead. Unlike Cordelia, she doesnt use her intelligence to learn to read social and emotional situations. Buffy needs someone with the confidence she has (in the beginning) and who leads less with their heart than Xander. Early Buffy is also quite shallow and Xander is not an "apha" male - which "everyone" tells her she should want as a queen bee.

She is an alpha, but not so much in the 'social' cliques after being called.

Buffy is always very focused on the fight and always very self contained. He tries to follow her into the fight but he cannot though he is brave enough to save her life and thus *saves the world* in season one.

Xander is much more emotional than Buffy. It is not something she recognizes she needs until after her friends drag her back from heaven to her coffin. Then Buffy depends on the also very emotional Spike.

Xander is a very good friend fit because he makes them feel cared for, makes them laugh and enjoy life and he is loyal to the point of risking his life for them, and later on shows he is resourceful and has great practical intelligence. He is the perfect third scooby.

Anya is a really good fit for Xander - if he respected her more and was not so burned by his family life and if she were more willing/able to readjust to modern life. Neither is high brow, both are insightful and have great commonsense, both are funny, resourceful and practical. Both appear to love their sexcapades. Once she integrates into the group she, like Xander, is very loyal. Both lead with their heart.

I wish the writers had put them in counselling instead of breaking them up. Xander needs someone who will call him on his nonsense and Anya needs a guide to modern life - just a bit kinder. Oh well. They killed her off instead. Grrr.

He might have been a decent fit with grown up Cordelia too, but she was always a bit too much 'star' girl. Both were very alone in Sunnydale and i think it is why they every clicked. Both were very practical compared to someone like Willow. I like to think they would always be friends.

Sorry I've never been keen on the women only like alpha males idea. I think it's a toxic cliche and not true.

Angel isn't exactly an alpha. He's a loner and he is brooding, artistic and sensitive. Xander just never put himself in that position and became a sibling.

People think Buffy only likes badboys because of Angel, but the whole point is he is a good guy with a soul. (I know he did a lot of iffy things, but he was presented that way LOL.) She didn't love Angelus, she called him the demon with the face of her boyfriend.

Granted they did try and push that crap with Spike, but even then I think that was a bad retcon and hilariously Spike is the least alpha guy I can think of anyway.

Spike is always the lackey of Angelus or Dru, and my god is he an incel and loser in s5. He gets a Buffy bot, basically a blow up doll, and expects the real Buffy to like him because he does semi nice things LOL. Even when he gets the girl she beats him up and he takes it rather than leave. He takes being punched into a heap on the floor making him a simp as well as an incel in s5, and he then tries to rape her.

He is far more pathetic than Xander ever was and he also weeps, blubs, and gets tortured and beaten up FAR more than Xander. Xander only got tortured once by Ashanti and it seemed like a bit of sexy femdom as she just tied him up. Look at what Spike went through with Dana and the Turok Han LOL. Far from thinking he was the alpha I remember people used to laugh at him for being made so wimpy after Buffy got off with him.

People just give him a pass because of James Marsters being funny and charming more than Xander whose jokes are too forced, and again Xander is a boring every man who doesn't contribute much apart from the odd contrivance as opposed to a cool vamp with a complex redemption arc.

Ironically the most alpha of all Buffy's boyfriends was Riley technically and he was the one she thought was boring.