Angel & Spike & Age Gaps

[NoShip]

I have been spending time on Reddit's r/buffy which is NEVER a good idea. One of the topics being debated is which vamp relationship is "better" or "mature" or "real" etc.

One of the arguments that comes up over and over and over and over is that Bangel is terrible because of the age gap of 220+ years. I agree with that argument.

What I don't get is why Spuffy is not considered terrible for it's 100+ year age gap.

Can anyone explain that?

 

[NotASlayer]

Spike is hot with charm, cheekbones and a cool leather coat.

Really, if any age gap like that is a problem, they all are. Anything else is hypocritical.

Now, if vampires don't really alter once turned, their age when turned is relevant, as are the mores of the time they grew up in.

Also, why do so many immortal vampires hang around schools? Sure, they may look young, but a school is one of the worst places for someone who doesn't age, because it will rapidly become obvious. Just look at how out of place many of the Harry Potter cast looked amongst the children by the end! Homeschooling, or simply pretending to be an adult makes it much easier to blend.

 

[Stake fodder]

One of the arguments that comes up over and over and over and over is that Bangel is terrible because of the age gap of 220+ years. I agree with that argument.

What I don't get is why Spuffy is not considered terrible for it's 100+ year age gap.

Can anyone explain that?

I think it's less how old Angel and Spike are than how old Buffy was during the relationship. She was only 16/17 with Angel, which is considered still a minor in the US, whereas she was 20 or so with Spike. Also, by the time she is with Spike, she's had more relationship experience, not the naive starry-eyed girl who fell in love with Angel.

But if these were all regular people, not vampires and slayer, we might look askance at either relationship, as the woman involved is so young and comparatively inexperienced compared to a man in his 30s.

 

[hoponlilmama]

I think it's less how old Angel and Spike are than how old Buffy was during the relationship. She was only 16/17 with Angel, which is considered still a minor in the US, whereas she was 20 or so with Spike. Also, by the time she is with Spike, she's had more relationship experience, not the naive starry-eyed girl who fell in love with Angel.

But if these were all regular people, not vampires and slayer, we might look askance at either relationship, as the woman involved is so young and comparatively inexperienced compared to a man in his 30s.

Don't the ages of consent also differ in various US states? So for example, in one state she'd be deemed not mature enough to consent, but if she crossed a state line in another she's OK and mature.

Also, we have to give Buffy some credit here, she's had to grow up faster than most people her age. Her situation is unique; she's facing death on a daily basis. She's seen what most haven't seen.

In this case, it's hard to judge an age-gap issue in a fictional, supernatural series - it's why no one really bats an eye when it comes to the mammoth age difference between Xander and Anya.

 

[Ethan Reigns]

A lot of the American west was originally populated by mail-order brides and a shipment of them would come around every once in a while by train. No one had any real concerns that would lead to interfering with this situation - if you didn't want to be part of it, don't get on that train or order that bride. Age wasn't really considered anyone's business except for the individuals personally involved.

In early small-town America for a long time, people never went more than 50 miles beyond where they were born and May - December marriages were common for the simple reason that few eligible people were available and there was a different attitude to the power dynamic - a girl was considered lucky to get someone with more life experience (but not as much when the woman was older).

It is only in modern times that large cities and cheap travel have allowed people to choose someone they think is more suitable by age. Angel and Spike were both born in earlier times when age differences were not considered all that important, so they would not understand the obsession with keeping age differences to a minimum. They were also vampires, which means age didn't really affect them - you never see Angel saying, "Get lost, Darla, Buffy's a lot younger" or hear Spike say, "Get lost Dru, Buffy's a lot younger" because age means nothing to a vampire until they get old enough to have cloven hooves like Kakistos.

The correct age for a vampire is the age they were sired and this makes the situation a bit more clear. Liam was about 25 but we only get a nebulous idea of how old Spike was, but probably not over 40. Buffy was not forced into a relationship with either of them - she chose them without regard for their actual amount of time on earth and without regard to the sired age. As Buffy once said, she had a boyfriend who remembered the industrial revolution. But it never stopped her.

One person who did object was the Mayor and for a good reason - he had wives he loved who aged and died and he told Angel and Buffy that they were looking at the same prospect.