Totally agree with you. Regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation, BtVS preferences, etc., people should be respectful. Those are the people that I truly hate, the ones that use any excuse to be nasty, patronizing, condescending and openly disrespectful because they don't share an opinion. You can state your POV in such a way that you're cordial and, no, this is not about political correctness, this about old fashion mutual respect, which at times seems to be totally lost.
LGBTQ acceptance dropping among Millennials
- Thread starter Skanky Vamp
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Totally agree with you. Regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation, BtVS preferences, etc., people should be respectful. Those are the people that I truly hate, the ones that use any excuse to be nasty, patronizing, condescending and openly disrespectful because they don't share an opinion. You can state your POV in such a way that you're cordial and, no, this is not about political correctness, this about old fashion mutual respect, which at times seems to be totally lost.
Anyanka Bunny Slayer
Back in the saddle again
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I know! I see myself as a fluffy squirrel, yet no one accepts me. The world is so cruel...
nightshade
That's as you're a grey squirrel, and no one likes those!
HowiMetdaSlayer
𝕔𝕠𝕔𝕠𝕒 𝕒𝕕𝕕𝕚𝕔𝕥 ☕️
Faith 2019
Woman verses Woman
It doesn't require any effort on my part to respect someone's pronoun and it's going to make them happy. I don't get why so many people are oppose to such a simple thing. It litterally does not affect my life in any way yet helps somebody else's life.
The amount of transphobia in this thread is appaling to me.
The amount of transphobia in this thread is appaling to me.
Bluebird
I'm surprised we've not seen the attack helicopter meme here to give it the full 4chan experience
By the way, I'm genuinely curious, I'd like to understand better. It's a very important topic IMO, I believe that everybody deserves to be treated with respect.
It is one thing to find it difficult to switch pronouns. Everyone is human and mistakes are normal. But trying is what matters.
However, people saying they don't want to try or outright refuse to call someone by their preffered pronouns is transphobic.
If I say, "Hey, Mr. X, could you help me with this." And Mr. X goes "It's Mrs. X. actually." Then fine, I'll adjust, total respect for that.
But a lot of people now seem to expect you to be able to know their pronouns without having any prior experience with them. That can be a challenge. I'm sorry if that bothers people, but it can be.
Again if Mr/Ms X is a person who goes "hey, you didn't call me by the wrong pronoun intentionally, but now you know", then again, I'll adjust to their needs. But, what I've seen a lot of debates about lately is a very uncharitable assumption where people's intentions don't count and they get labeled transphobic immediately.
Most people are not out there to intentionally hurt people, they will adjust if you tell them your needs, but you cannot expect them to know your needs in advance.
@WillowFromBuffy I'm sure that was sarcastic, but yes, I will.
WillowFromBuffy
To be or not to evil.
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I don't know why it is, but I have never met any of these militant trans and non-binary people who so many people claim to run into on a regular basis.
Maybe people just realise that I am a bit slow and fairly friendly, so they are more patient with me. Or maybe it is that I just don't use that many gender specific titles when I address people. As I said earlier, to be caught using the wrong pronoun, you have to be talking about someone in the third person while they are present ... and you don't really do that when you meet people for the first time.
Maybe people just realise that I am a bit slow and fairly friendly, so they are more patient with me. Or maybe it is that I just don't use that many gender specific titles when I address people. As I said earlier, to be caught using the wrong pronoun, you have to be talking about someone in the third person while they are present ... and you don't really do that when you meet people for the first time.
Blaze
I have yet to meet those people too. And I used to be very ignorant on the topic
Taake
I suppose it depends on the crowd you hang out with, I know a lot of left-wing activists for a variety of reasons *shrug*
T
thrasherpix
Same here and I live in an area with a great many...I've only encountered them online, just one of many reasons why I'm careful where I socialize online. I might at a university, but not at the one college campus I do visit.
I agree with all of this. And I have yet to meet a trans person who hasn't been patient with me for stuff like that (either by misgendering at first, or having a slip up). My frustration is when people know the preferred pronoun and refuses to use it, or do not try at all to use the correct pronoun.
Or when people say stuff like 'what's next, if you can pick your gender then I want to be a table lamp'. That is transphobic by nature because it denies the transgender identity.
Misgendering someone by accident and correcting yourself is not transphobic. Purposefully misgendering people is.
Anyanka Bunny Slayer
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So be it. No one is going to force me to accept a damn thing, or use words that were recently made up. "Transphobic"? What the actual hell?! Who came up with that one? 😅 People are free to live however they want, but demanding that others automatically embrace someone's "lifestyle choice" is sheer arrogance.
Basically, I don't give a rat's ass WHAT someone "identifies" as. Do what you want. Dress as you want. Just don't get in my face and expect immediate acceptance. That's extraordinarily arrogant and naive.
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DeadlyDuo
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TriBel
Scooby
I've met trans people of all different ages from across the political spectrum - a left wing lawyer, a right wing accountant, a television actor/stage comedian, a former CEO, an ex-soldier, a student. I've yet to meet a militant trans person. I've sometimes called them by a former name or got their gender wrong but I've never received a negative response. The pronoun situation hasn't arisen because I'm talking to them in the first person. If I'm writing about them I use "they". It jars a bit but I'll get over it - like I get over misused apostrophes and people writing "of" instead of "have". It wasn't that long ago we were using "thee". Language changes, meaning accrues over time, new words come, old words go - over 1000 added to MW last year. If we can add "stan" to our vocabulary (I've no idea what this means), why can't we add "sie"?
Taake
I imagine because stan is more of a meme that’ll die out eventually. It is a false equivalence
DeadlyDuo
Scooby
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You can accidently mispronoun someone when talking to them directly eg "Have a good day sir!", "Can I help you miss?" etc. I once got called "young man" when I was younger because I had short hair. The woman was very apologetic when I said "I'm a girl" and she actually remembered the incident 4 years later because she was so embarrassed about it.
WillowFromBuffy
Yes, you can misgender people in that way, but those words aren't pronouns, they are nouns. The only gender specific pronouns in English are third person singular.
WillowFromBuffy
To be or not to evil.
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T
thrasherpix
"Baltimore Maryland" :-D I wish Robert Anton Wilson could still be alive to comment on this stuff. If my Discordian cabal was still a thing we'd have to give her an award of some kind for that and many other skits of hers.
TriBel
Scooby
I agree but you can omit the honorific - I can't remember the last time I used someone's title in that way. Ms/Mrs/Miss is a minefield I try to avoid.
@WillowFromBuffy 😀- what does it say about me when I'm totally distracted by Tiffany's blue eyes but not Baltimore's beard? 🙂
WillowFromBuffy
Yes! They stand out. My eyes are a vaguely blu-ish, green-ish mess :p But I am most distracted by the drum sound of Baltimore tapping *their* fingers on *their* face. I love Natalie.
Exactly as you said, so be it. You do what you want, to me that is transphobic and I don't agree with it. Do with that what you will.
Name the Stars
You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling.
AHHHHH I LOVE CONTRA!!!! You guys watch her?? She's my absolute favorite youtuber ever!!!!
WillowFromBuffy
Of course :)
T
thrasherpix
I'm a big fan, though I haven't seen this one. I've been trying to get through an absurdly long "watch later" list and avoid adding new ones (though just did this one).
And you call me rude?! Yeah it's a problem that I don't break up sentences thank you ever so for pointing out something I already knew. But ya know when I'm putting out a post about something I'm passionate about I'm not exactly running things through the grammar check it's easy to be facetious if you don't give a flying one.