Okay so as a die hard Bangel shipper, I will try to answer this question...
Buffy was instantly intrigued by Angel, even if she was a bit annoyed, she was still intrigued by this tall, dark, handsome mystery man who just happened to have helpful information regarding her slaying. There was already a level of understanding who she was set up from the very beginning. Buffy never had to pretend to be anything she wasn't around Angel. The flirting and deep mysterious information continued, then in the episode Angel we finally get some insight into Angel as an actual character. She trusts him, lets him into her home, helps him after he has been wounded. She clearly has a crush on him, but then when they kiss he turns into what she is supposed to kill. Then the face off happens where they both should instinctively want to kill each other. He stands there without moving basically giving Buffy the opportunity to end him, but she can't do it. Just as she tells him to bite her, and he can't do it either. He also ends up killing his sire to save Buffy. In that moment, Buffy saw this vampire choose to do the right thing, choose to save her, choose to be the better man. I think in that moment, she saw him for more than just a crush, she saw who he was and who he was trying to be and in that moment against all better judgement she loved him but she let him go... She saw that he was a lot like her. They were both isolated, the only one of their kind and that no one could ever understand them as they do each other (at least until Faith, but that can be discussed on the Why Fuffy thread). He was a vampire with a soul, and she was the slayer. She would always have to make the hard choices, burdened by saving the world but having to do it in secret. While Angel is the only vampire with a soul burdened with the demon that is inside him, the darkness but still wanting to do good. They had a fundamental understanding of each other.
I think he completely earned the "I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life." She loved him for all that he was even after everything he put her through as Angelus, she still loved him. She knew he was a hero, a champion, just like herself but that they had been beaten down by life, made terrible choices, hurt each other, but she still knew underneath it all he was a good person just like her who had made mistakes.
Thanks for the response! I like the "brought together by loneliness" explanation. It's true! And after Angel gets his own show, it actually becomes even more true. I guess it's a good answer for the "why". I don't really feel it, but I think I can understand it.
However, I'm not sure if it's enough to justify the "huge, eternal" aspect of the love. Like, okay - they have this connection because of the loneliness, and that's why they love each other. But it's not enough to make it
such a huge, powerful thing. It just... It just doesn't seem sufficient.
Also - I don't think that 'Angel' was the moment in which Buffy fell in love with Angel. They got closer then, sure, but I don't think it was quite there yet.
This is a actually a very good question. As another diehard Bangel I'm gonna try my best to answer it.
I think there was a instant attraction between them, from Buffy's end it was definitely a physical one. He was tall dark and mysterious, every girls fantasy guy. I know I was 10 when the show aired and I loved him immediately...lol he was my first crush. So she was definitely intrigued. When she found out he was a vampire, It added a whole new layer . I think the fact that he was lonely, and unique, and suffering for his past connected with her on a deep level. She's lonely too, and different, and feels misunderstood. He was the first person I think she felt she could be herself with. He brought out a very nurturing, protective side to her. In my opinion she's at her most soft with him. She lets down all her guards and defenses.
I don't know really what it was the made him her forever love. What makes people fall in love with other people? Sometimes it's just something that draws you to them and it has no real definitive reason. I think that's the simplest answer really. She just loves him . Honesty I never had to see every second of their relationship drawn out and explained for me to see their connection. 🙂
Yeah, I get that. I have the same attitude with some relationships. It's just that I
don't instinctively get it in this case, and that makes me want a logical explanation.
The isolation and understanding that they share is definitely what made them empathize with each other and care. After that, I think the intensity of both their situation made things 100x more intense and cemented that forever love for both.
See, this is actually the thing that made me think of this question. It just feels to me like the main reason that they loved each other
so much, is because the world put so many obstacles in their way. That's the only reason I can think of - they had so many obstacles in front of their relationship, and the "forbidden fruit" aspect of it made it seem huge and eternal. But I have this feeling that if they'd actually live together as a normal couple for a long while... Then it wouldn't be SO huge and eternal anymore. Like Buffy said in 'Something Blue':
Buffy: But I can't help thinking — isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but.. part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting.
(Suddenly a vampire jumps out from behind a bush. Buffy stakes him without so much as looking the other way. He crumbles to dust and she and Willow continue on their way)
Buffy: I wonder where I get that from.
If Buffy and Angel didn't have the "perfect happiness" thing standing between them, if Angel never turned evil, if the scoobies were never vocal about their opposition to a slayer-vampire relationship... Would Buffy still love Angel THAT much? My gut tells me that she won't.
Personally, I think that Buffy saw something in Angel as soon as The Harvest. The way she was acting around him was mostly a facade until Angel. But I think she did relate to his loneliness as soon as The Harvest when she realized he didn't know what it was like to have friends.
I agree, there was attraction there from day one (Err, from day two, anyway). It wasn't love yet, though. Right?
Lastly, I do believe that the first love thing was a big factor in this. She really had her heart opened with him. She completely let herself love him, without any resistance. I think at that point she thought love could only be something positive and because she was so open, she experienced all the possible sides of loving someone fully. Can you imagine experiencing that kind of intense love with an immortal when you're supposed to die young? Of course she wanted to feel everything. Of course Angel seemed like a forever love to her when she's not going to live long.
That's a good point.
Not necessarily. Buffy/Angel started as a crush, but it wasn't JUST a crush, if you get my meaning. I think that most of us always remember our first "real" love, no matter how many times that we have loved someone else since thin. First love provides the yardstick that we use to measure each progressive relationship. Whether that new love is equal to, or even better, than the original might vary, but it will never diminish the magic of that first one.
Also a good point.
Sometimes you just LOVE. There's no helping it, no stopping it. It's just there and you can't change it. As someone also in love with buffy once said....
"Love isn't brains, children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will."
It didn't happen at one specific point, buffy and angel just loved each other. It just was what it was. It happened before they even set eyes on each other, and there's nothing either one of them could do about it. Sometimes you can be in love before you even realize it, and that's what I see embodied in Bangel. A deep, innate sense of attraction that transcends logic and lineal progression.
See, this is where I have to disagree - it DIDN'T happen "before they even set eyes on each other". In 'Welcome to the Hellmouth', they DIDN'T have that huge connection that they had in, say, 'I will Remember You'. In 'Welcome to the Hellmouth', it was just a crush, accompanied with hints of understanding. I didn't see love back then - not that it SHOULD have been there back then. Buffy barely knew Angel at the time, after all.
Well, like it's been said, it's easy to understand Buffy's crush on Angel during season 1. He was mysterious, handsome, charming. I'm of the opinion that in Angel, Buffy wasn't yet in love. She was "in love" with Angel, which is to say, she had a crush on him, thought about him often, was attracted to him, and, after kissing him, felt even more strongly for him. I think after the episode and seeing him vulnerable, and relatable, her feelings became deeper.
In season 2, Buffy slowly spent more and more time with Angel. Every episode up until her confession in Lie to Me, spanning a couple of months at the very least, brought them closer to one another. Buffy started to understand and notice Angel's isolation, and sadness, and Angel started to understand Buffy's isolation also. Being put in stressful situations together sped up the process of them falling in love too. Maybe until Lie to Me there weren't a lot of huge moments between Buffy and Angel, but a kiss here, hand holding there and time made them fall for one another. Actually, Angel fell first but that's beside the point.
I don't know if this helps
@Guy (probably not) but this is how I see it. The deeper love though, came after What's My Line, when they were dating and spending all of their time together, especially around her birthday.
I agree so far!
As for the eternal love part, it developed slowly, probably after season 2, when Angel spent 100 years in hell and still remembered Buffy, and Buffy couldn't get over him, months after their break up. Obviously, after all that went down in season 3 and years apart, it's no wonder that by season 5 their love could be considered "eternal".
See, that's where I have trouble with it. I get the connection, I get the love, but I don't get what makes it "huge" and "epic" and "eternal". I don't understand why Buffy still had so much trouble saying goodbye to Angel in late season 3 ("The "right now I'm just trying to keep from dying" part in 'The Prom' always felt VERY out-of-character for Buffy, to me), and why she still had "pangs" in season 4, and all that. I don't get why Buffy would say that she loved Angel "more than I will ever love anything in this life", when her relationships with Dawn and Joyce were clearly closer and more important to her.
Their years apart made their love eternal? That reminds me of how Wesley pined for Fred all those years... It's an understandable and human reaction, but it's not something that I would describe as making for an "eternal" love.
Not hard to understand why Buffy crushed on Angel in S1. He's tall, dark and mysterious. He sometimes helps her out of a jam. And sometimes he wears a leather jacket. That's literally all you need at age 16.
That part I get
🙂
The love part is two-fold. For one, there are biological and chemical things that happen in your body over which you have absolutely no control. The other side is the unique circumstances of these two people specifically which leads to an understanding and connection that they just can't find elsewhere. And clearly there was also something about them as people that made them feel the way they did.
To paraphrase what Buffy once said: 'Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry, you know what...I didn't know I got a choice in that.'
Yeah, but I'm just a curious guy!
😀
I want to understand what goes on in these characters' heads. I usually understand perfectly why Buffy does what she does. But this one thing puzzles me!
shieldmaidenthoughts.wordpress.com/2014/02/18/getting-to-know-angel-round-eight/
